We’ll start this week with a word of advice, folks. Just a reminder, don’t forget to fill your gas tanks in the next few days before Canada Day. You don’t really need to be a psychic to predict that oil companies are going to find to their horrified surprise that demand for gas increases on long weekends and they will have to jack up prices because they failed to plan for this totally unforeseen occurrence. I’m betting eight cents a litre. Obviously they think we are idiots. Then again, we fall for this every long weekend, so I guess we are.
It never fails to amaze me how stupid large corporations think we are. Ever been trying to contact say a big telecom and get the message, “due to an unusually large volume of calls”….? If the large volume is so unusual why do you have a pre-recorded message? Oh right, you think we’re idiots.
Politicians often fall into the trap of thinking their constituents aren’t bright enough to see beyond the mask.
Take our friend Matt Brown, Mayor of London, Ontario. You will recall I told you last week that Hizzoner had stepped aside after admitting to an “Inappropriate” relationship with his deputy mayor. He needed to take time to spend with his family, he said. Mend fences so to speak. Well, he has apparently taken all the time he needed because he is back on the job.
The Canadian Press reports that Brown says he has taken the initial steps to repair the damage he has done in his personal life.
He says he is ready to focus on “the future and on the work that needs to be done to move our community forward.”
He’s solved his personal problems in a week and that “let’s get to work attitude” is what his constituents need to hear. It’s all over! In a week! It’s in the past! No need to mention it again! Because he thinks we’re idiots.
Across the pond, the Brexit vote is tearing the country apart and the hyperbole is reaching epic proportions. As I write this, voting has begun on whether England leaves the European Union and polls indicated it was almost 50-50. PM David Cameron had taken to posting pictures of the actor Daniel Craig (James Bond) wearing a “Remain” t-shirt, because if James Bond thinks England should stay, obviously the idiot voters will listen to a fictional character. Meanwhile, the “leave” side, led by Donald Trump’s equally attractive cousin Boris Johnson, ties the EU in with Hitler and Napoleon, because.. why not? The populace is populated by idiots, after all.
It hasn’t been a great couple of weeks for the Trumpster. He fired his campaign manager and word got out that he had very little cash on hand in the campaign war chest. So little in fact, that he had to actually start contacting donors, something that every other presidential candidate in the history of ever has done, but The Donald had been resisting.
Twitter of course, has its share of idiots, but posters, sensing a weakness, produced the excellent #TrumpSoPoor hashtag.
Let me share some of the winning tweets with you.
#TrumpsSoPoor he has to rub generic cheetos on his face in the morning.
#TrumpsSoPoor that whenever he tries to write a business book, he can’t get past Chapter 11.
#TrumpsSoPoor he will have to marry domestic again next time, can’t afford imported anymore
#TrumpsSoPoor the wall is just gonna be stacked toilet paper rolls.
#TrumpsSoPoor he can’t even buy a senator
Trump responded with a fiery speech on Wednesday accusing Hilary Clinton of being the most corrupt person to ever seek the office of President, which is quite a charge considering the rogue’s gallery of past candidates, including Tricky Dick Nixon. However, the speech was immediately reported as far more presidential than his usual incoherent ramblings. The mud-slinging has begun on both sides and it’s going to get a lot uglier.
Why do politicians insist on thinking that crawling through the gutter is the way to wage a campaign?
Oh yes, because they think we’re idiots.
Carolyn Grant is the Editor of the Kimberley Bulletin