The new 2015 model shopping carts are in

New model carts are a roomy, refined smooth-rolling ride!

A new smooth drive for a new smooth era of shopping carts.

A new smooth drive for a new smooth era of shopping carts.

Re-designed for 2015, the new Save-On shopping cart is a sensible and refined set of wheels, a new smooth drive for a new smooth era of shopping carts.

The shopping cart market is competitive and consumer-driven (no pun intended), and the new cart has accordingly stripped away some of its former more ungainly features to create a streamlined cruise through the aisles.

The new cart is light on its feet, with an improved conservation of angular momentum when turning, and an extremely stable projection of steering axis. One could almost forget one is pushing a cart when wheeling this baby around.

When test-driving the new cart, the first question to answer is how quickly and easily is it propelled. The vector quantities defining final analyses indicated that the cart could be pushed from its rest position with an acceleration of four metres per minute squared, for a time of eight minutes, for a final velocity of 32 metres per minute.

This, of course, didn’t take into account the stops and starts of the typical shopping experience — tests were conducted by achieving final velocity of 32 metres per minute, then leaping up and hanging onto the new cart as it careened down an aisle (previously vetted to make sure there were no shoppers that could be hit, or store staff who might put an end to the test drive).

While riding along in this way, it was noted that the cart tracked reasonably straight, with a slight pull to the left, perhaps due to a trailing vortex.

The enhanced accelerative capability, coupled with an almost hydraulic deceleration, means shoppers can linger long and lovingly in front of the herbal teas, then burst into panicky speed when they realize how late they are. Conversely, if you’re in a hurry but have a lot of shopping to do, the new cart can get you in and out quicker with its excellent stop-start functions.

The new carts’ place for the kids to sit, or whatever you call that feature, has been upgraded by getting rid of some of its former quirkiness and now boasts a comfortable plastic snap-down arrangement to maximize comfort, and distraction from the ennui of shopping that infants experience. The test-driver borrowed an infant and cruised around for four long minutes, and the infant didn’t complain once of pinched bottom, discomfort or even boredom.

One intriguing aspect of the kids seat is a new roominess to accommodate swinging legs — the test infant in fact was able to deliver a well-aimed kick with hard baby boots at a sensitive area of the test driver.

Despite the cart’s new slightly reduced size, it maintains a capacious storage capability. When loaded up with all the hundreds of cans of cat food in the store, it was found the load could extent some two feet above the top of the cart’s basket without spillage. Drag indexes, of course, increased dramatically, but the cart still pushed smoothly and tracked relatively straight. It did, however, tend to bounce harder over small bits of debris tracked in by outside boots.

The half ton of cat food cans were wheeled up to the check-out line, to test ease of check-out. Check-out went smooth as silk, with the cart’s reduced size facilitating speed of movement past the till. One dubious moment occurred when it was found that the test-driver’s credit card was maxed out, and a store staffer had to take all that cat food back and restock the shelves. But by then the tests were complete.

Bottom line: The new carts at Save-On reflect a new ease of consumer shopping experience, effortless operation and a new jam-free slot for 25-cent deposit. Happy aisles, everyone.

Editor’s note: The test driver did not really take the cart joy-riding, nor borrow an infant, nor load the cart with cat food and make a staffer restock it. The new carts, though, are really nice.