My spinach will email you

researchers at MIT have discovered a way that a spinach plant can send an email to tell you that there is a bomb nearby.

Carolyn Grant

Remember when you were told that spinach was good for you? And it is good for you, full of nutrients, high in essential vitamins, able to email you… wait. What?

Yes, researchers at MIT have discovered a way that a spinach plant can send an email to tell you that there is a bomb nearby. It’s really quite simple. Scientists embedded spinach plants with tiny material that cannot only detect and filter water and nutrients, but also detect compounds used in bomb making. The spinach detects the substances in as little as ten minutes. The spinach then emits a fluorescent signal that can be seen from a nearby infrared camera, which then emails you about the threat.

Amazing. Who knew spinach was so smart?

Yeah, yeah, you know what I’m up to. I’m just trying to delay diving back into the U.S. election, where next week we will discover whether American voters are as astute as a spinach plant.

I wonder if a spinach plant could have detected the bomb that went off from FBI director James Comey last Friday, because it sure has thrown election predictions sky high. If the plant could have emailed Hillary Clinton to warn her a bomb was about to go off… But where would it send the email? Maybe to a private server?

Yes, the legendary October surprise was delivered late last week and it immediately threw the 2016 election into no man’s land. Comey, who announced last summer that the FBI would not prosecute Clinton regarding emails sent to and from the then Secretary of State on a private server, suddenly announced last week in a letter to Congress that other emails had been discovered and he was going to be looking into them.

Comey has remained silent since the dropping of the bomb, much to the dismay of Democrats and delight of Republicans. No other information has been released, but cue the feeding frenzy.

To make things even more interesting, the emails were found on the laptop of Anthony Weiner aka Carlos Danger — he of the sexting scandals. Old Carlos was married to a top Clinton aide, Huma Abedin. Was married. They are now separated because, sexting scandals. Reports are that there are some 650,000 emails and the FBI is just going to go through them and see if there is anything explosive. I wonder if they’ve planted spinach nearby?

The Wall Street Journal reports that some of the emails may be duplicates of ones already looked at, some may be pertinent to the investigation into Clinton’s emails. But it will take weeks to go through them all, which begs the question, if you don’t even know what you’ve got, why release any information at all this close to the election?

The FBI Director is quite likely damned if he didn’t and damned if he did. If he didn’t tell anyone there were more emails discovered, he’d be accused of a cover up. He did, but then doesn’t provide any information at all, and he looks like he’s interfering in the election. He’s got some interesting days ahead.

And so do we all as this crazy, scandal-filled, bitter, bizarre 2016 election winds to a close.

I know I am going to be glued to my television next Tuesday night waiting for the election to be called. If you can’t bear to watch, don’t worry. I’ll have my spinach email you as soon as I have a result.

Carolyn Grant is Editor of the Kimberley Bulletin